Angels of the Disc
by Temporal Austenite
Summary: Nine's directional senses lead him astray and he lands the TARDIS in Discworld, throwing him, Rose and Jack in a world that is nothing like home, but familiar. But trouble lurks: people are disappearing in Ankh-Morpork.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, I've waited for ages to play with Nine, Jack and Rose, because I didn't have a storyline for them. And then this one fell into my mind. I'd consider getting one of da Quirm's metal helmets against ideas, but this one promised to be too much fun.**

**There will be more Discworld character involvement in later chapters (most notably The Patrician, key members of The Watch, and (hopefully) Susan), but the first few chapters will focus mainly on Nine, Jack and Rose. **

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. I don't own the TARDIS, or Discworld.**

"Where are we going now, Doctor?" Rose asked.

"Places."

She smiled, "No, really, where?"

He smiled, "Places."

"No, really. Where?" She asked impatiently.

"Places!"

"Doc, what are you two going on about?" Jack yawned as he entered the area, "What's up?"

"I just asked him where we were going! That's all! And all he will say is 'places'!"

Jack blinked, "Well, doc, what have you got to say?"

"Always wanted to go places!"

Rose let out a surprised laugh, "I cannot believe you just said that!"

Jack smiled, glad the argument was over. "So, what's for breakfast?"

"Banana pancakes!" The Doctor grinned, "Made them when Rose got up!"

"There's coffee too." Rose smiled.

"Thanks. Tell me when we land."

"Alright. Now," Rose turned her attentions back to The Doctor, "Where are we going?"

He checked the co-ordinates again, "Well, we _were_ supposed to be going to a planet made entirely of chocolate-"

"Ooh, a planet of aphrodisiacs!"

"Jack." The Doctor sighed. "Can we have one conversation without an innuendo?"

"That wasn't an innuendo. That an outright-"

"Stop. That. Sentence. Now."

Jack held up his hands, "Alright, alright. So, Doc, if we're not going to this place, what ever its called-"

"Places." He caught the look on their faces, "That's what I've been telling you!"

"There's a place called Places?" Rose laughed.

"Ten, actually. Unimaginative if you ask me. This one is just an entire _planet_ called Places."

"If we're not going to Places, then where are we headed?"

"I don't know." The Doctor smiled, then turned to face Rose, "Rose!"

She raised her eyebrows, "Yeah?"

"When we land, Jack and I are going to take a look around for five minutes. Do not follow. We could get in trouble if we land on the wrong sort of planet. Besides, you might need to put on a dress. Can't have you making a faux pas."

Rose sighed and slumped against the side of the TARDIS. "Great. And if some tries to attack the TARDIS?"

"The assembled hoards of Genghis Khan could not break down that door."

"Right. You've said."

"Doc?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"How do you know that?"

"They've tried!"

"You pissed off Genghis Khan?"

"It was an accident!"

Jack shook his head a laughed, "Alright, I'll go get dressed. My usual outfit okay?"

"Can't go wrong with a coat and pants."

Jack grinned, "Depends on where you are. And who you're with. And what you're doing." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Jack! One conversation, no innuendo, for once!"

"Yeah, yeah." Jack called over his shoulder as he left, heading for his room.

Rose sat down and was quiet for a minute, "Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"What if they haven't, you know, invented clothes yet?"

"They'll have...leaves, or something. It'll be fine."

She paused again, "Doctor? What if it's a planet of nudists?"

He paused and turned to look at her, "Then, um, well, we'll leave. See? Problem solved!"

She laughed, "You really think you'll get Jack to leave a planet of nudists?"

The Doctor paused and glanced down the hallway, "Well, if he doesn't want do come with us, we'll leave him."

"You're mean!"

"I know. He could get into so much trouble by himself."

Rose grinned slowly, "I was thinking of the nudists, actually…" The Doctor looked shocked for a second, then burst out laughing. Rose joined in. Five seconds after they had stopped, Jack walked back in, causing another round of laughter.

"Glad to see I've become a source of amusement for you two. What did I do?"

"Nothing." Rose assured him.

"Yet." The Doctor smiled. "And…we're here! Now, remember, Rose, you are to stay here."

Rose rolled her eyes, "Right. Staying here. While you go out on an adventure and Jack flirts with everything in sight. I'll stay here."

"There's a good girl!" he kissed her on the top of her head, "Come on, Jack."

After the two men had left the TARDIS, Rose sighed, "Sometimes, that man is so…_**thick.**_"

MEANWHILE

"Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler at your service! Do you want a sausage-inna-bun?" A man called out. Jack glanced back as The Doctor paused to look them over. He immediately grabbed him and pushed him forward.

"They looked fine, Jack!"

"You'd pet a rabid rat if it looked harmless! Come on! That food is not safe! I'm not sure it is even food!"

"Jack, you've got to immerse your self in other cultures!"

"Been there, done that. Trust me on this one Doc, that food is not safe!"

"Aw, but Jack!"

"No, Doc, and that is final. Come on, let's get back to Rose."

The Doctor threw one last glance over his shoulder at the cart, but Dibbler had turned his attention away and was shouting at a dwarf about his specialized Rat inna Bun.

**Thank you for reading, and if you review I will send a banana! Or tea! Your choice! Reviews are one of the top things that make me smile-just behind my family and friends and a new Pratchett book/Doctor Who episode!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, this is for everyone who didn't got to my profile page but plans on following this…I PLAN to update every Tuesday, until the story is finished. Introduced in this chapter is Captain Carrot. And of course, Jack's still flirting. He can't help himself, I think…_

"Rose?" The Doctor called as he entered the TARDIS.

"Yeah?"

"We're back."

"Hadn't noticed." She rolled her eyes, "What took you so long? You said five minutes."

"One question Rose, and answer me truthfully on this, would you eat a sausage inna bun that was right next to a rat inna bun?" Jack asked, leaning against the TARDIS door, crossing his arms.

"What?"

"Answer me, Rose." Jack insisted.

"No, but…Doctor?" She turned to stare at him incredulously.

"Look, you can't be sure that it was a _rat_ inna bun!"

"It had a tail!"

"Could've been a mouse!"

Rose stared at the quarreling time travelers, open mouthed. "Oi!"

"Yes?" The asked, turning to face her.

"What do I wear?"

"Ah." The Doctor looked at Jack, who grinned.

"Too hungry to notice what pretty women were wearing? Good thing I've got my priorities set straight. Here, let me help you look Rose. I'm sure there is something on this ship that will look stunning on you." He smiled winningly.

"Well," She grinned back, "Alright." She took Jack's arm and he lead her out of the room.

"Always with the flirting." The Doctor sighed and sat down, waiting for them to reenter.

Jack arrived about fifteen minutes later, "She seems happy with what she picked out."

"That's fantastic. Where are we gonna go once we're out there?"

"I don't know. Maybe we could go to a bar."

"Could go exploring. Find something new."

"And we could have a nice drink."

"See some sights."

"Meet people."

"Sorry, what?"

"A bar. Drinking. That's all I suggested."

"Nah, got to see the sights."

"If I promise to be back home in time for dinner, can I go drink?" Jack asked wryly.

"Don't bring home any strange people. And Rose and I will drop you off at the bar of your choice."

"Yes, Dad." Jack rolled his eyes.

The Doctor grinned, "We'll probably be at the house of the government or where something is going 'bang' really loudly, if you get bored."

"Fair enough." Jack leaned back and kicked his feet up.

A moment later Rose entered the room. She twirled around a bit. "Figured I'd dress down a bit, you know?" She smiled and twirled around in a dress that was vaguely 18th century. It was a pale pink with a few black accents. In fact it was very similar to the dress she had worn on her second adventure in the TARDIS. It had less flounce in the skirt and long sleeves, though. "Well?"

"You look fantastic!"

Jack stepped forward and took her hand, "Beautiful." He kissed her hand and smiled up at her quickly.

"Always with the flirting!"

"Can't help myself. I see a beautiful woman, I flirt!"

Jack, I think you see something _vaguely_ humanoid, and you flirt."

"Habit. Have to keep my hand in practice!"

"Now, Rose, Jack and I are splitting up: He wants to go drinking; I plan to go exploring. What do you want to do?" The Doctor cut off the discussion.

"I'll go with you. Wouldn't want to cramp Jack's style." She smiled. "Where would we be going?"

"There's a palace. Got to be something interesting at a palace."

"Am I dressed alright for a palace?"

Jack laughed at her question, "You're dressed fine, Rose. He's planning on being a tourist."

"Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers?" Rose grinned, "Or is that just you?"

"Nah, we've got Jack now. He can kiss complete strangers."

"Probably will." Jack smiled and stood up, "Come on, let's go."

"Aye, aye captain!" Rose laughed and followed the two out of the TARDIS.

"Now, where would a good place to go drinking be?" Jack asked once they got outside.

"What sort of place are you looking for?" A male voice asked from behind them.

"Oh, a loud, bustling place full of people." Jack smiled widely and charmingly as he turned to face a tall 6 feet tall man with red hair.

"Well, the most bustling place I can think of is the Mended Drum, just down that way."

"Thank you. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, but _you_ can call me Jack." Jack replied with a winning smile and a wink.

"Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson, but everyone just calls me Captain Carrot. If you need anything, just ask me."

"Oh, believe me, I will." Jack said, making certain his meaning was very obvious.

Carrot smiled, apparently not catching Jack's drift. "Well, welcome to Anhk-Morpork. I hope I see you around!" He waved as he turned and walked away.

After a moment, Rose stepped forward. "Jack?" Rose asked. "Jack, um, you can close your mouth now."

"He's…hmm? Right." Jack threw one more glance over his shoulder as he followed The Doctor and Rose down the street. "Wow."

"I believe the word you're looking for is 'impervious'." The Doctor called back. "Humans. Always wanting what they can't have."

"Who says I can't?"

"Jack!" Rose laughed as they turned on to the street Captain Carrot had indicated.

"Which bar do you think it is?" The Doctor asked, looking around.

Jack smiled and pointed, "That one."

Rose gapped at it, "What makes you so sure?"

"It looks like it's been broken before." Jack grinned widely. "See you two later."

"I'm not sure if the right word for that place was 'bustling' or 'brawling'." Rose commented after Jack wandered off.

"He'll be fine." The Doctor replied, "Now let's go exploring." He offered her his arm, and with a grin, she took it.

…_Jack. Is loose. Alone. In the Mended Drum…Nothing good can come of this. So PLEASE review! Sunshine and smiles, remember? Did I use that one yet? Anyway, I will be extremely grateful if you review! This next chapter introduces two more characters._

_Spoilers, though._


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay! I made it through another Tuesday to send this out to you all! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that either Terry Pratchett or the BBC own. Sorry.**

**We meet two other Discworld characters…**

"Nice place."

"Shh. I think we're gonna be found soon."

"Well, I'm not the one who broke in. I was just lead astray by a mysterious man. In a black leather jacket."

"I sonic'd in. Totally different."

"Uh-huh. How do you know we haven't been followed this far?"

"Would have felt eyes on me."

Rose raised her eyebrows, "I'm sure. When they do find us, can we stop whispering?"

"Don't see why not." The Doctor grinned, "Shh." He insisted, "Someone's coming."

Rose glanced behind her in time to see someone come out a door very slowly, then punch the wall, and let out a string of profanity. He glanced over at them and sighed, "Are you waiting to see Vetinari?"

Rose glanced over at The Doctor, who grinned, "Yep. Seemed like we've been waiting for ages!"

The man walked over to them, with his hand out, "Duke Samuel Vimes, Commander of the Watch."

"Pleased to meet you. I'm the Doctor, and this is Rose Tyler. What were you seeing Vetinari for?"

"People have been going missing. _This_ was just a weekly meeting."

"Ah."

"Why did you punch the wall?" Rose asked.

"Because I think he knows something, but he's not telling me." Vimes sighed. It had been a long day.

"Can we go in now, do you think?"

Vimes shrugged, "I need to get back to the office. This case needs to be solved. And now."

"Right you are. Good day Commander. If you'll excuse us?" The Doctor nodded towards the door, and led Rose in.

Sitting at the desk was a thin man, who didn't even glance up when they entered.

"Hello." The Doctor said pleasantly, "Pleased to meet you. I'm The Doctor, and this is Rose Tyler."

"And I am Lord Havelock Vetinari, the patrician of this city." He put his pen down and looked up as he folded his hands. "And I have two questions for you."

"Alright. Then I get to ask you two questions."

"Fine. One," He ticked a finger, "How did you get into the palace? We need to replace the lock, which was broken."

"I thought you said that you didn't break it!"

"Well, sometimes the sonic breaks metal that's declared unbreakable. It wants to prove a point."

Vetinari sighed, attracting The Doctor's attention again, "I used my sonic screwdriver. It opens doors. Doesn't work on wood." The Doctor explained.

"And two," Another finger came up, "What do you want?"

"Aw, we're just exploring." The Doctor grinned, "My turn. Where are all these people disappearing from?"

"I believe that they are disappearing from the Art Museum. Your other question?"

"Where is the art museum?"

"I will take you over there myself. Is there anything else?"

"Rose?" The Doctor asked.

"Kinda hungry, actually. All that talk about chocolate, I suppose."

"Didn't you have the banana pancakes?"

"Not everyone is as big a fan of banana pancakes as you are, Doctor."

"Right. I suppose Rose is hungry. Do you have any food?"

"Certainly. In fact, it is just about dinnertime, if I'm correct. If you would care to join me?"

"Fantastic."

MEANWHILE

* * *

"Takes a lot to drink me under the table, big guy."

"Eh, what's that? Naw. 've ne'er lots a drinkin' contets in me life."

Jack clapped the man on the back, "Sorry, but I think you've lost."

"'Ere, what's that? You wanna fight, buster?"

"No."

"Cause you've got one!" The man roared and took a swing at Jack, who quickly ducked.

Which met the man behind him got hit, and soon the entire street was an all out brawl.

Carrot caught Jack as he was attempting to casually stroll and whistle his way back to the TARDIS.

"Hello captain. Loud out tonight, isn't it?"

Carrot glanced over at him, "Yes. Odd, isn't it? Usually the fights start at midnight. For style points."

"Hmm." Jack said, "It was very nice there, at the bar."

"You were there when the fight started."

"Yeah. Not intentionally, of course. Hate to ruin this pretty face."

"You saw who started it?"

Jack glanced over at Carrot, but saw nothing but honest curiosity on his face, "Yeah. Big, scary guy. Really drunk."

"Oh?"

"Yep, took a swing, hit one guy, and then I got out of there as quickly as I could."

"Oh."

Jack shifted uncomfortably, "Well, I mean, I'd been drinking right across from him."

"You talked to him."

"Well," Jack sighed, "I actually challenged him to a drinking contest."

"Oh."

"And, as you can see, I won."

"That's good."

"Look, I didn't know that it would start a fight!"

"You started the fight? Jack, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to take you in for processing."

"You can process me anytime you like." Jack grinned roguishly.

"Please come with me." Carrot sighed sadly.

_How did he miss that one?_ Jack wondered as he followed the Captain of the Watch down the street.

**Oh, Jack. If you want translations for the drunk in this(no one specific, honest) just ask! Please review! It'll make me smile! And I'll send a cuppa tea!**


	4. Chapter 4

_This is just a really short bridge chapter to explain how the characters got from point A to point B. Of course, it wouldn't be a fun chapter if Jack weren't Jack…

* * *

_

"Well, that was delicious. Thank you, Lord Vetinari." Rose smiled.

"Yes, very filling, Havelock. Now, about the museum-"

"I would like to take you over there now. You say you may be able to figure out what is taking these people?"

"Hope so!"

"I will send a clacks to Commander Vimes and Captain Carrot. Both of them are extremely interested in the case."

"Oh, can you ask about for Captain Jack Harkness?" Rose asked, "Hate for him to miss out on the fun."

Drumknott stepped forward and whispered something in Vetinari's ear. Vetinari nodded, "It appears I will only have to send that in a message to Captain Carrot. He got arrested."

"What, already?" The Doctor asked, exasperated, "Stupid apes, small tiny brains, can't keep out of trouble for an instant."

"Doctor! Still here!" Rose said.

He pointed his finger at her. "I've had this talk with you before."

She rolled her eyes, "Takes him five minutes to tie his shoes, can't seem to get it right, and he likes to insult **us**." She told Vetinari.

"Interesting. Now, Doctor and Miss Tyler, the carriage should be ready for us to go."

"Fantastic!"

MEANWHILE

* * *

"I thought processing was going to be a bit more…intrusive."

The golden dog growled, but Carrot patted it on it's head.

"Nice…dog." Jack said slowly. "Looks very…strong."

"She is."

"Oh. It's a she." He smiled, "What are we going to do now?"

"I suppose I should put you down in the cells-"

A man with a disgruntled face stormed down the steps. "Carrot! Vetinari wants us at the art museum. And do you have any idea who the hell Captain Jack Harkness is?"

"At your service," Jack smiled, "Pleased to meet you."

It sounded like the dog snickered.

The man looked over Jack with an air of exaustion, "I'm Commander Samuel Vimes. Why does Vetinari want you?"

Jack grinned, "Do you know who is with him?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"If it was a very pretty blonde girl following around a man who had really big ears and wore a leather jacket, then I do. Let's go."

* * *

_Processing. Ooh, sometimes I don't know where these come from and then I remember: It's Jack. But, like I said before, just a bridge chapter. That doesn't make it unworthy of a review…especially with that innuendo in it…Please review!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Okay, no more jokes about processing, I promise…Thank you to Ayjah, who is a constant reviewer, which is 1.) Totally awesome, and 2.) worthy of a cup of tea._

"Well, thank you for the ride Mr. Vetinari. We'll see you soon, won't we Doctor?"

"You were supposed to go with him, Rose." The Doctor said as he followed Rose out of the coach.

"Ah, I believe that Commander Vimes is here. I shall leave you to work this out with him." The door closed and the black-on-black coach drove away.

"You two again." Vimes sighed as he came face to face with them, "Why am I not surprised?" Carrot was in step with Vimes, and Jack was strolling behind them a few feet.

"I'm not going to leave you Doctor."

"Rose, it's safer for you."

"Still not leaving. Tell him Jack."

"Don't think she's leaving, Doctor. This the art museum? Fancy place." Jack looked up at the majestic building.

"The Royal Art Museum," Carrot started, "was founded in-"

"Not now, Carrot. Do you know what is inside the museum?" Jack patted Carrot on the shoulder.

"No."

"So we could be going into a situation where everyone could die?" Vimes frowned.

"Nah. Well, maybe. Still, come on. Rose, you're sure-"

"Yes, Doctor." She waltzed in the front doors. The Doctor sighed and followed her inside.

"Do they always behave like this?" Carrot asked.

"Yeah, they're sweet. Now, me, I've got no one like them. Not from around here." Jack smiled sadly over at Carrot. "I don't know anyone."

"Ankh-Morpork is always willing to welcome it's visitors into it's fold." Carrot said, stopping Jack in his tracks. Carrot followed The Doctor and Rose into museum.

Vimes stopped next to him with a smile. He took out a cigar. Jack's mouth hung open for another second before he murmured, "He's like a walking travel brochure. Good looking, charming, and unusually positive."

A match was lit and then the end of the cigar started smoldering. "More like a book. I'd recommend you stop what you're doing with him. First, he will not get it. Second, Angua will rip out your throat. Third, I don't like you, and that means you aren't going to be staying long." Vimes blew a puff of smoke out, and then walked forward.

With a sigh, Jack followed him into the building, "I'll stay as long as I like!"

"Doctor?"

"Yes Rose?"

"If this is an art museum, what is that?" She pointed down at something.

"Could be a statement on modern art. Oh, isn't it awful?" Everyone gathered around something that looked like a pile of trash. It's plaque told them that the piece was entitled _Don't Talk To Me About Mondays._

"The statue or modern art?"

"Both." Jack announced, "I've seen worse, but somehow this is just bad."

"That was created by-"

"Not now. Art lessons later, Carrot. I'd be the first to take your class. " Jack sighed, "Where do we go first Doctor. Doctor?" He called, finding that The Doctor and Rose had slipped out of the room, unnoticed.

"Oh, this is good though. Who did this?" Jack sighed, and followed by Vimes and Carrot, went into the next area.

"Lenard da Quirm. He's been missing now for-"

"Is he related to this?" Rose asked The Doctor, looking up at the painting he had indicated, "And is that the Mona Lisa?"

"Nah, the Mona Ogg. Ogg. Familiar name."

"Da Quirm has been missing for a while. He's not connected to this." Vimes said before Carrot could explain. "What are you looking for, Doctor? What is your name?"

"Call me the Doctor."

Vimes opened his mouth, but Rose cut him off. "Just call him the Doctor. Saves trouble."

"I call him Doc." Nine looked over at Jack with an expression that screamed, '_Really?' _"What? Where are we going next, Doc?"

The Doctor looked around, "I want to rule out one thing before we go any further. Carrot, where are the angel statues?"

_And the plot moves along…good. Love it when that happens. Thank you for reading! Please, please review! Reviews=love! Love=more chapters! More Chapters=A cup of tea! _\_/)! _So therefore Reviews=A cup of tea! Yay!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Now that we've got the plot in motion, let see where it takes us…please read and review! Thank you toAyjah(again! Yay!) and to Irken Invader!Disclaimer: I own neither the villains or the heroes.**

"What is this sudden obsession with stone angels about Doctor?" Rose asked. "You've never been a big fan of statues or art." She wandered back over to The Doctor and Jack from looking at another painting. Carrot was explaining the history of a vase to Vimes, who was attempting to split his attention between Carrot's lecture and search for statues of weeping angels.

"Who says? I like art. Art is good. I've met Da Vinci. Nice fellow." He looked at another painting. "Look in all of them. The image of an Angel becomes an Angel."

"She's right Doc," Jack added, "What's with the angels?"

"Weeping stone angels. Don't they frighten you? Haven't you ever feel a bit unnerved by the statue of a weeping angel? A stone angel, doesn't that bother you?"

"Never thought about it much." Jack shrugged, "Besides, I always figured if the angel behind me came to life, I'd charm them stone dead."

The Doctor ignored him, "If you see one, don't blink. Blink and you're dead. I hope I'm not right. But don't blink."

"Weeping Angels?" Vimes asked, drawing free of the lecture to look at different vase, "And what do you mean by that?"

"Oh, you are clever!" The Doctor turned to face him, "Getting the right answer is easy; getting the right question is hard. And that was the right question! The Weeping Angels-yes, that's their name- are the kindest killers in the universe. They see life forms, temporally displace them, and absorb the potential energy!"

Rose and Vimes just stared at him. Jack saw the looks on their faces, so he attempted to explain, "The angels see people like us with a lot of life before them, and they have the power to throw us back in time. Well, basically we're thrown back in time long enough so that we live out our lives, but there's all this potential life force left over from what we could have had. That's like food to them."

"That's not exactly what happens." The Doctor fixed Jack with a look.

"Yeah, but basically, that's what they need to know."

"What about not blinking?" Carrot asked. "Why can't we blink if we see one of them?"

The Doctor raised his eyebrows at Jack, inviting him to answer. Jack smiled and bowed to him, indicating that The Doctor ought to take the lead. "I'll just dumb it down a bit."

"The angels cannot move when they believe they are being looked upon. If they think someone can see them, they freeze. But if you blink, they're very fast. They can be upon you in a second, and transport you back in time. If they're nice."

Rose glanced over at Jack, who then started his explanation, "See, these angels are very shy, and can't move if someone is looking at them. But if you blink, they can come up to you, feel you up, and then rock you right out of this time."

Rose burst out laughing as The Doctor glared at Jack, "That is _definitely_ not what happens."

Carrot's brow creased in effort to understand why Rose was laughing. Jack, caught by Rose's contagious laughter was unable to explain it himself, and The Doctor just frowned at the two of them and turned back to the painting.

"Doctor?" Vimes asked. His cigar was in his hand-his arms were hanging listlessly by his side. His tone, both guarded and horrified, made them all turn to face him. As if in slow motion, the cigar fell from his hands, "Don't blink."

**Cue the ominous music…And I'm sorry for Jack. Well, no, I'm not. Please review! Even if it is only to scold/praise Jack! Or worry for our heroes! Or comment on the story in general!**


	7. Chapter 7

**When we last left our heroes, they had just sighted The Weeping Angels. When we leave them, this time, there will be an entirely new dynamic-and no, Jack's still flirting. Please read! Please review! Thank you to Ayjah and Suuki-Aldrea for their reviews!

* * *

**

The Doctor turned around slowly, so that he faced the Angels. Rose, Carrot and Jack followed suit. "I want everyone to leave. Now. Get out." He stared at the Angels that had blocked the way they had come in.

"And what about you?" Rose asked, staring over at the angels, "And who else is making a face to not blink?" She laughed weakly.

"Have you ever tried not blinking?" Jack complained. "Actually, I have a better question, Doc. How the hell are we gonna get out of here? The doorway out is blocked, if you hadn't noticed."

"Actually," Carrot said, "If we back up slowly, we can avoid the Angels and then go the back way out."

"We're on the second floor. What's the back way?" Rose asked apprehensively.

"The windows." Vimes frowned, "Sybil had me take Young Sam here once. I found all the exits." He said by way of explanation.

Jack sighed, and pulled out his sonic blaster, "Right. Will this do anything to them, Doctor?" He carefully took aim at the one directly ten feet in front of him.

"I thought I took that away from you!" The Doctor said, upset. "I know I did! I took away from you, and hid it!"

Rose coughed slightly, "Um, Doctor, you hid it in _my_ room."

He paused and looked at her, "And? Figured that he wouldn't go in there." He paused, then frowned and turned to Jack. "What were you doing in Rose's room? She's got a boyfriend, you know."

"Doc, your standards are so far behind the times." Jack grinned, watching the angels.

"And you, what were you doing letting this one into your room? I thought I said no domestic on the TARDIS! I know I said I didn't do domestic!"

"Just because you don't, Doc, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't. And we never said it was all that domestic." Jack laughed a bit, keeping one eye on the angels, the other on the Doctor's face, watching his expression.

"I never said we were doing anything!" Rose cried, upset, "Why do you always think the worst of Jack, Doctor?"

"Why not?" The Doctor frowned, "So how did he get it if he wasn't in there doing…something?"

"Watch it, Doctor." Rose frowned. "And he has it because _I_ found it, when I was looking for my Union Jack shirt. Have either of you seen it, by the way? I'd love to wear it again. It looks good on me." The Doctor raised his eyebrows, as if to say 'well?' and Jack chuckled a bit. She sighed and continued. "I figured that he had left it in there when we were talking about my relationship with my _boyfriend_. Sometimes a girl needs to talk about 'domestic', Doctor, and I don't want to talk to you about him."

"Wouldn't want to talk about Ricky anyway." The Doctor muttered.

"See? There you go again! Mickey. Is that so hard? Anyway, I went to his room just before you decided we take off again to go to Places and gave it to him." She finished.

"I'm glad I have it," Jack added, "Not everything applies to your no violence rule. Some things need to be beat up, Doc, and I'm getting the feeling that doesn't just apply to the last planet we were on, where they tried to kill all of us. Twice."

"That was an accident." The Doctor frowned, "Case of mistaken identity. Current case of mistaken identity. We haven't done anything to them yet. Well, _we_ hadn't. Yet. Once we promised that we wouldn't do whatever it was, they let us go."

"But we'll probably end up doing it anyway." Rose smiled. "Time travel. Can't keep it straight."

"Carrot?" Vimes asked, looking over at his friend, "The Doctor said not to blink."

The three time travelers turned to look at the Captain of the Watch, who shrugged, "I'm not." His eyes were lightly closed, "This is not blinking."

"Ooh! You're clever! Right, we'll look for a way out…but I want Rose to follow his example. Commander, Jack, we're going to keep our eyes glued to those," he pointed to the Angels. "_And_ put that away, Jack."

"Yes sir." Jack rolled his eyes, but complied. "Rose, take the Doctor and my hand. Carrot, Vimes and I will grab your hands as well." When both of their hands were in his grasp he grinned, "Now, if it weren't for those angels, this would be heaven." He winced slightly when Rose dug her finger nails into his hand. "Right then. One step as a time, we'll back up. Every body, on the count of three-"

A no-nonsense voice, the sort of voice that carefully controls younger grade school children without boring them, a voice that belongs to the sort of person who could give you their full attention, softly said, "I think, if you back up, you'll find you won't go much further."

"Who are you?" Jack asked, turning around.

"Susan Sto Helit." She frowned.

Jack's eyes raked up and down her body, "Jack Harkness, Susan. Pleasure to meet you."

"Oi! Less flirting, more talking!" The Doctor snapped, "Right, Ms Sto Helit, who are you?"

"I am a school teacher. How were you planning on getting out of here again? The windows?"

"That was not my plan." Rose muttered. "Jack, let go of my hand. I don't think she's that pretty. Sorry, no offence. He just does this thing. Smells really good. Doctor, can I stand on the other side of you?"

"Thanks Rose." Jack sighed, freeing her. "Sorry about her, we don't usually let her out in public. A bit crazy."

Susan frowned, "Never mind."

"Who are you really though?"

"She's a duchess." Carrot supplied helpfully.

"Who is a school teacher. Why would you want to be so normal, unless you were so weird?"

Susan sighed. "I'm Death's grand-daughter. Please don't ask stupid questions."

"Can you do anything special? That we can't? Because I have an idea to get us out of here, but I need to know what you can do."

"I can make my own time. It's a family trait." Susan bit her tongue, surprised she revealed so much about herself.

"That is fantastic! Here's the plan. I need you to get to my TARDIS-it's a blue police box-Jack, give her your key."

"With pleasure."

"Feel free to hit him," Rose shrugged, "He's not won any points lately."

Susan smiled grimly as she took the key, "If the situation calls for it."

This did not discourage Jack; it rather encouraged him, "If you want to practice laying your hands on anyone, I'd be glad to offer up my body."

"Jack! There's a time and a place!" The Doctor sighed. "Really?"

"What is the TARDIS?"

"Time Machine. Space ship. Hard to explain. Just fly it back here, alright? To this time." The Doctor smiled and took Rose's hand. "Right everyone, on my count of two, we will stare at those Angels, and on the count of three, we'll get to be frozen, if I understand Her Grace correctly." He nodded to Susan, who shrugged, "One…Two…Three!"

She snapped her fingers and smiled softly, then paused. "I don't know how to fly a spaceship." She squared her shoulders and decided to find the one person who would be able to help her out-even if he was _crypt_ic.

* * *

**Pun intended there, I'm afraid. Sorry about that. Please review! I've had 16 readers to that last chapter, and only two reviews! Now, I can't be accused of scolding, but I would appreciate it if you silent readers took a second to write "JACK!" or "Go Susan!" Because right now I'm really stressed out, and reviews make me feel like these chapters aren't in vain.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Susan centric! One character from the Doctor Who Show, just to make sure it continues to be a cross over, but mainly Susan and…DEATH.  
So please read!  
Thank you to Ayjah, Irken-Invader, Suuki-Aldrea and Vorel laraek for their reviews!  
DISCLAIMER: I am not Terry Pratchett or the BBC!

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**

Susan stormed into the room where her Grandfather was relaxing.

"Grand da!" She called, walking up to him. She was in her full Death's granddaughter attire, and time was stopped here as well.

YES SUSAN? He asked, lifting up the newspaper. HOW ARE YOU?

She bit her tongue a bit, not really believing what she was going to say next. Susan dealt with all the problems she faced herself. He always came to her, not this way around. "I need some help."

WHY?

"You know those people who have been disappearing? And then reappearing somewhere back in time? And you suddenly remember them dying?" She asked impatiently.

YES.

"There's this man, trapped in the Art Museum. By these weeping angel statues." He looked at her curiously, if a skull can look that way, so she continued, "They're...monsters. Which I _know_ I usually deal with, but I need to know what he knows about them."

AND?

She frowned, "I froze time so I could go get his Time Machine. it's this blue police box. But I don't know how to fly the TARDIS."

YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU FLY A SPACESHIP? He asked, slightly amused.

"Well, yes. Please. Or find somebody who does know how." She snapped.

THAT WOULD PROBABLY WORK BETTER.

"Like who, Grand da?" She sighed. Dealing with five year olds? Piece of cake. Family? Remind her never to go to a reunion.

RIVER SONG.

"Who?" She asked, annoyed.

DEATH snapped his fingers, and a woman with extremely curly hair, who Susan had barely noticed as she froze time, smiled. "Hello. What's my sweetie up to?"

"Really?" Susan sighed. "And you couldn't have told me that you knew why I was here?" Susan turned to River, "Who are you again?"

"Professor River Song. I was told that you need to fly the TARDIS to the Doctor?" River smiled, "

"Who are you? Not your name," She clarified, "But what do you do?"

"I'm a time traveller. I just use this," She held up her wrist, "My Vortex Manipulator, and I can go almost anywhere the Doctor can."

"How did you know I need help?"

"Captain Jack Harkness is trapped in there, with the Doctor. About five minutes ago, a very drunk Captain Jack told me about this adventure. He always wondered how you know how to fly it. Just chalked it up to the fact that you were his," She tilted her head over toward Death, who was reading the newspaper again, "grand daughter. So I thought I'd pop in for a visit."

IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. Death said politely.

Susan frowned, "Come on then. I'll talk to you later grand da." Susan directed a glare at him, but his attention was back at the paper. She turned around and followed River out of the establishment.

IT WAS NICE SEEING YOU AGAIN, SUSAN. Death called after her with a shrug.

"Oh, and one more rule. Don't tell anyone. Not a word. Ever. That you saw me here. He doesn't meet me yet, I don't think. Not if Jack doesn't. When we get there, I'll go hide. Don't let anyone follow me."

"Fine." Susan replied, "Am I supposed to tell them how I did get it here?"

"Tell him that you were lucky to get it there. Say your grandfather helped you. Don't mention me. I don't exist to him yet. There will come a time when I do, and I'd hate to hear the word spoiler coming from his mouth. Not a word."

It took some confidence to threaten the granddaughter of Death. Susan wasn't sure if it was that or insanity, but she nodded anyway. "I already said fine."

"Good." River opened the door to the TARDIS, "Now, Susan, let's see if we can't break into the Art Muesum. I've done something like this before. Just to steal a painting, of course. And without a TARDIS. This will be easy. Especially since I didn't have to break out of prison. Much."

Susan sighed and stared at the woman who was running around inside the larger-on-the-inside blue box. She didn't comment, because she'd seen odder. A clock holding Time. The Pictures that held the home of the Tooth Fairy. A place that was like a different dimension was nothing odd thing. She didn't even blink when River talked to the machine.

When it landed, in the exact second Susan had left the Doctor and the others, River ran off down the hallway.

Susan sighed before she opened the door, "Grand da, you are going to have so much to explain."

Susan stepped out and snapped her fingers.

* * *

**Not really a cliff-hanger ending, the story isn't over yet. Everyone's okay, and fine! Okay, this time, if you review, I'll send out dwarf bread with the tea! Real Dwarf bread! And if you've reviewed even once before, it'll be the good sort. Centuries old.**

**Promise.**

**Okay, well, thank you if you do review, even if you don't want the bread. I think it'd make a nice ornament. In the lawn. Wouldn't get stolen. **


	9. Chapter 9

_Dedicated to Ayjah, who has been insisting on SOME Doctor/Rose-I promised, so here it is. _

_DISCLAIMER: I am not a large broadcasting company. Or Sir Pratchett._

_

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Susan snapped her fingers, and the Doctor jumped to life. "Everybody, inside the TARDIS! Now!" He threw an arm out and pointed to his left.

"This way, though." Susan sighed from his right. Rose chuckled a bit and walked, with her eyes still closed, over to Susan, who, despite herself, took the other girl's hand to lead her in. Jack lead Carrot and Vimes over, and finally The Doctor pointed Susan inside.

"Didn't I say to land over there?" He asked as he closed the door.

"No." Jack sighed, "Besides, we're lucky she got it here, Doc. You've got brains to go along with your lovely face."

Susan raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned back roguishly. It occurred to Rose, who was leaning against the console watching the him, that nothing ever intimidated him. _Death's Granddaughter? Yeah, I know her. Looks really good in a dress._ And if that was really how Jack thought, she had no faith in him what so ever. Vimes and Carrot were standing by the door, almost as if guarding it. Their stances told her that what ever got in was not getting out. Or maybe, they were making sure nothing got it. She considered telling them that nothing would get in, not even hoards of burly men. They seemed content, however, to stand there doing nothing, so she let them. She was about to turn to face the Doctor when his arm brushed against hers.

"Sorry Rose. Need to get this." He leaned around her a bit more and hit a switch, then stood up straight. "Having fun?"

"Yeah." She smiled, "Think Jack's gonna strike out with Susan?"

"Yep." He didn't even look up, just hit a few more buttons on the TARDIS console. "It's hard to have a relationship when you see a person as a group of atoms that won't be around after a few more decades."

"Is that how you see me?"

He looked shocked by the question, "No. You're special. Rose, you're so much more. Why would I ever see you like that?"

"You're 900 years old, Doctor. Why wouldn't you?"

"Because," His blue eyes locked on to hers, "You're special, Rose Tyler." They stared at each other, close enough to touch, for another moment. She broke her gaze away first.

"What about Jack? He's special."

"Well…" She shot him a look, so he stopped and continued, "Susan doesn't know him like we do. He's special. Of course Jack's special. Talk to him and look vaguely human, you know he's special."

"Hey! Not what I meant."

"I know." The Doctor grinned, "Sorry."

"Don't be. I'm to used to you two." She sighed, and relaxed a bit. "You ever behaved like Jack?"

"Only-no." He stopped, "Do I look like I could behave like Jack?"

Rose sighed, "Why did you get so defensive when Jack was joking around about why he was in my room?"

"You've got Ricky." The Doctor stated, "And Jack has no business being in your room. Do I just go into your room?"

"You could, you know."

"What? And get slapped by your mum again? I don't think so."

Rose grinned a little. "What makes me special?"

"You're…you just are, Rose Tyler. Everything you do-well, except for not running off,"

"I didn't run off. I was kidnapped. By a zeppelin."

"Yeah, and we ended up picking up that one!" The Doctor gestured behind him at Jack.

"Not the point."

"What is the point?"

"Why am I so special, Doctor? What makes me any different from Jack or Carrot or Commander Vimes?" She crossed her arms and stepped in front of him.

"Because…"he reached a hand up to run his fingers through hair no longer there, "Because you care. Because you take everything as it comes. Because you fixed me, Rose Tyler. Because you saved my life when many would have just started screaming. Because you see everything, and you're not jaded."

"So?"

"So…so that means you're one of the best things to ever happen to me. 900 years of time and space, and you still fixed me after the war. No questions, no promises."

"No domestic?"

The Doctor froze for a minute. "No. No Jackie. Or Ricky."

"My mum does not make a situation-"

"She _slapped_ me!"

"Focus on that!" Rose punched him lightly on the arm.

The Doctor grinned, "Yep! Don't worry, Rose. I'm not big on domestic."

"What-" She hesitated, "What if I wanted to do domestic?"

He stopped, "With Ricky?"

"No." She paused, "Not with Mickey. He doesn't want to be on the TARDIS. With…with someone else."

"Jack? Can't see him doing domestic-"

"No. Not Jack." Rose sighed, "Have you never wanted to 'do domestic'? Ever?"

"Well. Sometimes, I suppose, doing domestic would be…" He hit a few more buttons, and went to pull the final lever to take off. Rose stared at him for a second, then grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. He started to fight but gave in, eventually. "Fine. Doing domestic would be fine."

She started to give him another kiss, but some one coughed.

"She has a boyfriend!" Jack said, perfectly imitating the Doctor, "Really, Doctor."

The Doctor managed to blush a deeper red than Rose. "Jack, go hit on Carrot or Susan again."

"I couldn't have Jack hit me. I would have to hit back, and that would count as police brutality."

Jack sighed, "I'm not into the violent stuff. Carrot's right-unless Susan-"

"My grandfather is Death. I'd think hard before finishing that sentence."

"Would probably like to tell us about how the children in her class deal with violence." Jack finished, his voice monotone, his face frozen.

The Doctor took the chance to pull the lever and launch them out of the Art museum. Rose, gripping the handles of the console smiled at him, "So, how domestic?"

"Wouldn't mind some domestic." He grinned back, "After we get rid of the angels."

* * *

_Please don't hit me for Captain Jack, please! You know he would say something, when he noticed…Please review! You can yell at Jack if you want! Or discuss Doctor/Rose cuteness…_

_Baked goods and tea are once again offered! Please specify!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Here's the next chapter! Thank you to Ayjah, again! Much love!_

_DISCLAIMER: I'm just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world…not someone awesome like Davis or Pratchett.

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_

"Well, here we are!" The Doctor glanced around the room, "Why are you all on the floor?"

Jack stood and helped Susan to her feet as Vimes and Carrot pulled themselves up. "Ever heard of a fair warning, Doc?"

The Doctor's look of total incomprehension made Rose, weakly clutching the rails of the console, start to giggle.

Vimes brushed himself off a bit, "Carrot and I will have the Art Museum cordoned off and closed. It's not popular at any rate.

"Pity. There's good works in there." The Doctor commented, "Rose and I will go explore a bit more. Jack?"

"Where are you going?" Jack asked Susan in turn.

"I'm going alone." Susan frowned at him, her eyes flashing.

Jack stepped back unconsciously, "I'll go with Carrot. Learn a bit more about police work, yeah? I'm sure it's a very interesting job. You must have learned a good deal from Mr. Vimes here, right Carrot?"

"I became a man when I joined the watch."

The roguish grin that spread over Jack's face as he raked Carrot's body with his eyes alerted everyone except Carrot to lack of innocence in Jack's next statement, "Really? I'm surprised that didn't happen before. I 'became a man' pretty young."

"The city watch helped me grow into myself."

"It certainly would have helped me become a man," Jack threw his arm over Carrot's shoulder, "Tell me, are there women in the watch?"

Rose and the Doctor turned to face Susan. She seemed to be able to glare at Jack through the closed door of the TARDIS. "Is he always like that?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Rose answered.

"I need to go." She left abruptly, her demenor only a step away from her appearance as Death's Granddaughter.

"Nice girl." The Doctor said with a smile.

"Jack likes her." Rose commented. A glance was all it took between the two of them before they started laughing.

The Doctor recovered first, "So, Rose, are you ready to go see the town?"

"Do you think it'll end like the last few adventures?"

The Doctor turned his head a bit, and scratched his cheek. "Well…Maybe."

"I couldn't ask for more." Rose kissed him lightly on the cheek before stepping out the door.

* * *

"The Shades? Harmless name, I'm sure it's fine." Rose whispered sarcastically in The Doctor's ear.

"So I take it you've heard of Rule One." The Doctor repeated.

"Yeah." The largest of the street thugs said, "And it don't apply to you."

As they backed into the wall of the alley, Rose took the Doctor's hand. "No matter what, promise me you'll be okay."

"You'll be okay." He whispered back with a bit of his goofy grin.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." The Doctor looked over at the leader of the thugs, "Forgive my ignorance, but what is rule one?"

"We're Rule One." A voice said from the entrance of the alley. It sounded old, but to Rose's and The Doctor's surprise, the thugs all straightened up and ran out around the figure.

Another figure stepped into the entrance, sending a shadow down towards where The Doctor was holding tightly to Rose's hand and attempting to shield her from whoever blocked light from entering the alley.

The new figure reached behind it's ear and lit a cigarette. "Good dramatic timing there, Soto. I'm impressed."

"Thank you. Now, who are you, where are you from, and how have you not have heard of rule one?" The figures seemed to shrink as they approached the two.

"I'm the Doctor, and this is my friend Rose. We're from out of town. And I know lots of Rule Ones. Just not this one. Always willing to learn though."

"I'm Soto, and I'm a History Monk."

"And I'm Lu-tze. I'm just a sweeper. Came down to visit my friend here, saw you two, thought we might be able to help. Isn't it written 'there is a time and place for everything?'"

"Yes." The Doctor answered. History Monks, you say?"

Rose looped her arm though the Doctor's as they left the Alley, following the two old appearing men. "I'm confused. What is rule one?"

"Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man." Soto replied, "Lu-tze got it established here, but I've been making sure that people around here remember it."

"Good. Can't have people forgetting the rules!" The Doctor grinned, "So...History Monks. I was just wishing for History Monks."

* * *

_So…what do you think? Like the Soto and Lu-tze? Want me to make them leave the same way that Vetinari did? Or keep them around for a bit longer? Please drop a review! Fanfiction is being weird and won't update my traffic page, so I won't know if you read if you don't review!Tea, crumpets and ice cream to reviewers!_


	11. Deleted Scene from Chapter 10

_-__**DELETED SCENE FROM CHAPTER 8**_-

Susan stepped out of the TARDIS, already becoming less upset(she wasn't calming down, Susan Sto Helit was _always _calm). The Watchman and Jack had already disappeared around a corner, and the street that the Doctor had parked on packed. Susan stepped to the side of the TARDIS. She wasn't sure why, but she wanted to make certain River Song left the time-traveling space ship. Without thinking much about it, Susan disappeared, like the times she had in school when she was reading.

The Doctor and Rose left shortly after she had. Susan noticed that they were holding each other's hand. To her surprise, The Doctor met her eyes and muttered something about, "Can't be a perception filter, no jewelry. Must be another one of those inherited traits." Rose didn't see her.

A few minutes later, River Song stepped out, "Hello Susan. Come to see me off? I did figure you would be waiting here."

"I wanted to thank you for your help." Susan's reply was stiff, but River smiled.

"I'd do anything to help my sweetie out. And this way I've repaid a debt to Jack. I'd better be heading back. I don't think you'll be needing my help, since I know how this ends."

"Good bye." Susan replied.

"Good bye, Susan. Have a nice life, and give your grandfather my best. Very charming fellow." River smiled once again as she disappeared.

Susan frowned again. "Grandfather will have to wait. I've got someone else I need to talk to."

_So? Tell me what you think! (I know this isn't my usual Tuesday post, but I didn't want to leave Susan hanging, doing nothing. So here's a scene that should have belonged in the last chapter! Truffles if you review!_


	12. Chapter 11

_This chapter is split in two parts, concerning two different conversations. Hints at the Doctor/Rose chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I hope that you liked the Susan Centric deleted scene!

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_

"And they just sent me this new one from the Valley, it's wonderful in fights." Soto held out a begging bowl for Rose's examination. "No sudden movements, and I wouldn't recommend dropping it."

"What does it do?" She asked, flipping it over, "It's a bowl, right?"

"Prayer bowl, begging bowl, and can really maim or kill a group of attackers." Soto said proudly as he took it back.

Rose smiled, "Jack would like to meet you. Course, I think you two might be immune to his attempts to charm." She laughed a bit, "Don't you think, Doctor? Doctor? Where'd he go this time?"

"He and Lu-Tze went outside. He's not allowed to smoke inside the office space. Really, it's supposed to be a dojo, but it works better as an office space. Especially because no one wants to face him. "

"Not to offend you, but," Rose started, eyeing his hair, "Aren't monks supposed to be bald?"

"I am bald, under the hair. It's a separate entity." Soto grinned, "At least, that's what I told the head monks. I think that's why they sent me down here."

"Hah!" Rose grinned, "So, you seem to be good friend with Lu-Tze-is he really just a sweeper?"

Soto shrugged, closing the cabinet of dangerous fighting technology. "Yes. Lu-Tze never trained to be a monk. Learned everything I know as he swept. Learned more as he traveled. The Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite, although still largely a mystery to me is one of the ways he learn beyond us mere history monks."

"What's it like being his sidekick?" Rose jokingly asked.

"What's it like being your Doctor's sidekick?" he responded.

Rose froze a bit, remembering the kiss she and the Doctor had shared in the TARDIS just over an hour ago, the anticipation, their lips touching…"Probably a bit different."

"I don't think so."

The feel of his lips against hers…"Trust me. Maybe really different."

Soto stepped back a bit and examined her face, "Probably. But he's a hero, and treated like a god? Even if he's not? There are tricks, and he's not really some amazing hero with powers beyond the control of any human being? Does he trick people into doing what he thinks they should?"

Rose thought about the question for a second. "Sometimes. Mostly it's just running. A lot of running."

* * *

"Nice girl."

"Rose? Yeah. Really intelligent." The Doctor leaned against the wall. "Interesting friend you've got there."

"A bit eager, and he uses the stuff the valley sends down to him. Not interested in the explosives myself."

"I'm not a fan of violence myself."

"Violence has it's place. Usually in the use of Rule One." Lu-Tze smiled lightly

The Doctor nodded, "It has it's place."

Lu-Tze snuffed out the end of the cigarette and placed it behind his ear, "So, how old are you?"

"900. Well, I say I'm 900. Not quite sure. Time travel."

"800. I say I'm 800. Could be 6000. Reincarnation."

The Doctor grinned lopsidedly at his new friend, various thoughts running through his mind. While one of them, admittedly was his…interaction with Rose not too long ago, but…okay maybe more than one, but he was contemplating other things. One, he liked Lu-Tze. Two, History Monks seemed a bit like Time Lords. Not as bad, of course, but clever, and narrow minded with too much power and few renegades. Three, two clever heads are better than one. Lu-Tze was certainly another clever head. Five hundred twenty nine*, it was amazing what you saw if you kept your eyes open. And in front of him he saw some one who had seen a lot; someone who knew a lot; and someone who would want to help.

"Have you been to the art museum lately, Sweeper?"

Lu-Tze relit the cigarette after placing it into his mouth, "Could probably do with a bit of sweeping. 'Course, I'll probably need a bit of help. Is it not written, I only have one pair of hands?"

"A little hard work never hurt anyone." The Doctor replied with a smile, "However, we'll need to tell Commander Vimes and get Jack before we go in." His smile widened, a bit mercenary, "Jack needs to get some work done sometime. Hard labor."

MAY I BE OF ASSISTANCE?

"This…is getting surreal." Rose commented from the door, "Hello. Are you looking for Susan?"

NO. I, HOWEVER, MUST WARN YOU…THE WEEPING ANGELS ARE NO LONGER AT THE ART MUSEUM.

"Not sure about these weeping angel types, but I'm going to bet that buying a good bunch of chocolate won't do any good." Lu-Tze frowned, "You two know Susan? Nice girl."

* * *

*No-body ever said the Doctor's thoughts ran in order.

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_Death was not a new character, I'd like to note. I thought I was done with him, but it appears not. If Susan is mixed up in something, I do believe her grandfather would want to help. _

_Please read and review! _

_Good news! I can see my traffic page…but that doesn't mean that your reviews are any less appreciated! Truffle Cake offered for review! Or Ice cream! You pick!_


	13. Chapter 12

_Last chapter Death was Re-introduced, and the Angels became more dangerous…Thank you to all reviewers! I love you all!_

_Longest chapter yet! This was my long chapter week!  
_

_Disclaimer; I am just me, and do not own Doctor Who (although I did just get the Brilliant Book of Doctor Who 2011! I recommend this if you liked series five, I read it cover to cover in about nine hours.) or Discworld( And I now have my own copy of Men At Arms!) So, that's my big news for the week…

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_

"I'm not one to shirk work." Jack grinned, "Course, might get a bit hot, working in the Art museum. Might have to take my shirt off…" his grin turned mildly lecherous. "Say, Carrot, would you like to join us?"

"I'm sorry, but I need to help the Commander hold the perimeter." Carrot replied kindly. "I wish I could be of help. I've told the director that the building is too dirty too keep the paintings in prime condition," Carrot started his lecture, but was drowned out by the Doctor.

"Right. Now, do you all have mirrors? It's very important you have mirrors." The Doctor wandered around the area, talking loudly. Rose was attempting to hold on to his arm, but the way that he was twisting and turning made it practically impossible to keep a grasp on him. "And if you see an angel, place the mirror in front of it. Don't blink unless you're sure that the angel won't open it's eyes without seeing you. I've got to warn you, though, not blinking could be very, very bad. Don't meet its eyes. Don't stare at it. Just don't blink. These Weeping Angels are the most dangerous killers in the universe. Don't blink, and don't meet their eyes."

"Really shy," Jack murmured near the Doctor's ear.

The Doctor stopped walking and leveled a glare at thin air before turning. "You are going to go with Rose, Lu-Tze and Soto," He frowned at the ex-time agent, and then was interrupted by a shove from Rose. "Oi! What was that for?"

"What made you think that I'd go off without you?" She asked, her arms crossed, "You and me, mate, we're stuck with each other. You're not getting rid of me."

The Doctor shook his head, "I'm going to be searching out the Angels, Rose. That's too dangerous."

She raised her eyebrows, then said in a voice laden with sarcasm, "Right. Too dangerous. So almost being blown up, that's not dangerous. The nestene? Piece of cake. The empty children? Like toddlers, really."

"Rose Tyler, I am not getting slapped by your mother for putting you in unparallel danger." The Doctor flinched slightly, remembering the sting of Jackie Tyler's palm against his face.

"Oh, right. And she won't slap you if I tell her we kissed!" Rose crossed her arms and glared at him.

He widened his eye, and his mouth dropped open, "You wouldn't dare."

She grinned now, having found an upper hand. "You and me, we're gonna stick together."

"Rose," his voice identical to the tone when facing the slitheen; his horror at the thought of losing her was now even more intense, "The Weeping Angels are the worst thing evolution ever created. At the same time kind and unmerciful. I don't want to lose you."

"I'll only be thrown back in time, Doctor. You have a time machine. Do you see how that works?"

"No, Rose. I won't lose you. Not if I have the choice." The Doctor took a step closer to Rose and stared down at her. His eyes held both determination and pleading.

Rose glared back up, her eyes reflecting stubbornness. "Well, I won't let you wander off by yourself!"

IF I MAY INTERUPT.

Rose looked up at Death, startled. She paused before stammering, "Sure. Yeah. Don't worry about it."

I WILL GO WITH HIM IF YOU LIKE. I CAN NOT BLINK. Death offered. Though he towered over them, he attempted to make himself seem less imposing. While it was completely useless, both Rose and the Doctor had to admit that it was a good effort. Jack was staring contemplatively at the skull, attempting to imagine what Death would look like if there were muscles and flesh against the bones. It's possible his mind would have started to imagine other things, but that train of thought was derailed by Carrot patting him on the shoulder as he passed.

Rose pursed her lips, looking Death up and down, "Promise? You won't leave him for anything?"

I PROMISE. Death replied, looking as sincere as a grinning skull can.*

Although she didn't appear entirely certain, Rose nodded, "Thank you. And you, Doctor, better not do anything stupid. Don't you dare do anything stupid."

The Doctor's eyes widened, offended. "Do I do stupid things?"

"Yes." Jack laughed, finally paying attention to the conversation. "You're a show off, Doc."

OH YOU. YOU'RE GOING TO BE TROUBLE. Death said, looking over at Jack. There was a hint of distaste in his tone. Jack grinned roguishly.

"He always is." Rose laughed, "So, us four are in the art museum, and you two?"

"We'll be about…everywhere." The Doctor shrugged, then turned to glare at the ex-time agent, "Sorry. Jack, that's not how you're supposed to use your mirror! Stop admiring yourself!"

"Sorry Doc," Jack grinned, sliding the mirror into his pocket, "I had to fix my hair." Jack ran a hand through his hair again.

"Jack!" Rose laughed, "Your hair looks good all the time."

"Fifty-First century technology." He agreed with a grin.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "Hair is not important! Will you two stop…blogging?"

Rose raised her eyebrows but said nothing. The Doctor started to blush.

BLOGGING? Death asked, confused.

"Blogging?" Jack laughed.

The Doctor glared at him. "We need to communicate somehow." He dug his hands into his pockets, handing out various items to Jack and Rose. "I was sure I had it one me somewhere…" he pulled out a cell phone. "Rose, do you have yours?" She pulled it out and handed it over to him, "I'm programming my phone number into yours, and yours into mine." He handed it back. "Call me if you see an angel."

"Gee, I figured I'd call mum. Tell her about my day." Rose rolled her eyes.

"Don't you dare, Rose Tyler." He glared, then turned to face all four of them, "You four listen to each other. Jack, keep your shirt on. Literally."

"No fun, Doctor, no fun." Jack grinned, "So, you'll call us if you two spot one?"

The Doctor looked about to answer negatively, then caught Rose's version of the Jackie Tyler glare. "Yep! Definitely. Lu-tze, you're in charge. Don't let those two wander off alone, and only travel in pairs."

Rose sighed, annoyance tinged her tone. "Thanks, Doctor."

"It's not you I don't trust. It's him." He thrust a thumb at Jack, who grinned, apparently proud of his status.

"Thanks." Jack called, "So, until next time Carrot?"

"Yes. I hope to see you soon, Captain Jack."

Jack grinned, "Me too. Alright, you three, let's get cracking. Did you bring enough brooms for us all?" He grinned at Carrot one more time before he started to walk up the steps. About halfway up, he paused and called back to Rose. "Well?"

Rose bit her lip, staring at the Doctor, "Doctor?"

"Yes?" He asked, staring into her eyes much the same way.

She bit her lip, torn between worry and annoyance. The emotion gave way to something else as she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. He looked down at her in surprise, then tenderness. She spoke first. "Be safe. Can't work on domestic if you're not here."

"You will not wander off, and promise me you will listen to Lu-Tze. He may be older than me. You will _not_ listen to Jack." The Doctor said, "Keep your mirror out and call me if you're in trouble."

"You call us too." She poked him.

"Of course." He readily agreed. His quick agreement made her suspect he wasn't being entirely truthful. He patted her on the cheek, but her suspicion remained in place. "I promise, Rose Tyler. I will call if we need help."

"Oi! You two quit being sweet! Some of us have work to do!" Jack called. With one more quick (Rose-initiated) kiss, Rose raced up the steps behind to Jack and the History Monks.

The Doctor stood staring up at the Art Museum for a few minutes, even after the door closed. It may not be the first time he had allowed Rose and Jack to wander off, but usually it was separately. The thought of what trouble they could get into worried him all the time; the mere idea of the trouble they would cause without him watching gave him nightmares.

Death coughed politely. PERHAPS IT WOULD BE BEST IF WE GOT STARTED?

"Yeah. Course. So, where do you think they are? I'm sure you've got a few talents that would lead us straight to them."

* * *

*Which isn't saying much.

* * *

_Okay, so yes, there is more Doctor/Rose in this, which I hoped you liked. I hoped you liked Rose's behavior here; I wanted her to be a bit more 'I'm not going to put up with your wobbly-wobbly-I-know-best-attitude.' I have a poll up on my page about adding more characters, and I'd love it if you would review, then take the chance to vote!  
Tea and scones to reviewers!_


	14. Chapter 13

_I want to thank Irken-Invader, Ayjah and Suuki-Aldrea for their reviews! I am also going to apologize for my bad writer behavior. This is a week late. I'm really sorry. I may have to switch to every other week, but I will do my best to have a new chapter up every week. I'd recommend story alerting this if you want to follow it. It will still be on Tuesday, though, if you would prefer to just check in every week.  
_

_I also want to thank my father, who helped me develop the plot for this, even if he had no idea what was going on._

_Disclaimer: Not male, in general. In specific, not Davies or Pratchett.

* * *

_

YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ABOUT LEAVING HER BEHIND. Death commented as they walked down another side street, WE ARE GOING TO YOUR SPACESHIP, I SUPPOSE?

"Yes. Susan told you about that. She's a smart, clever girl. You should be very proud of her." The Doctor chuckled, "Neither of you seem to keen on Jack. Can't blame her after his flirting. It got a bit outrageous and improper after she clearly shot him down. Several times. Actually, Rose thought it was pretty funny."

IT IS NOT THAT I DO NOT LIKE JACK. Death paused, a grandfatherly pause where a man has just told him that someone liked his sweet, innocent granddaughter, WHY WAS JACK FLIRTING WITH SUSAN?

They rounded the corner as the Doctor attempted to think of an answer. "I'm sure you noticed that Susan is rather very nice looking. Jack certainly noticed it. And he also has a tendency to flirt with everybody."

Death looked over at the Doctor, I MUST CONFESS, THE ENTIRE SITUATION IS VERY CONFUSING TO ME.

"It doesn't get any better, trust me. I've just learned to stop him from saying anything. Most of the time." They walked past a chocolate shop, and the Doctor stopped. "Chocolate covered bananas…I wonder if that's a special. I'll be a second. The TARDIS is just down there." The Doctor wandered into the store.

Death looked down in the direction the Doctor had gestured, then looked back in to the store and called, DOCTOR? The Doctor popped his head out the door, "Yeah?"

YOUR…TARDIS. IS IT A LARGE BLUE BOX?

"Yeah. You can head down to it if you want. I'll be there in a second." The Doctor re-entered the store.

DOCTOR. Death called again, and raised his skeletal arm to point his bone finger at the TARDIS. The Doctor poked his head out the door and followed the line. He stepped out of the door and on to the street to stare.

Surrounding the TARDIS were four stone angels, each holding a side of the time machine. It was lifted off the ground slightly.

"Ah." His grin started to fade, "That could be a problem."

* * *

"This is ridiculous. They've all left. Why would he have us wandering around here, dusting old pots?" Rose sighed.

"Gives me a good chance to stretch. I didn't know he cared about my health." Jack grinned, "Didn't know he knew I had health. Or an extensive exercise regimen that excluded stretching. An over sight that will not be forgotten ever again if this is his way of fixing it."

Rose laughed, tying her hair back with a clean dust rag. Jack's shirt was some where down on the first level, and the Monks were on the other side of the room, Soto washing the base board and Lu-Tze sweeping the floor. Lu-Tze smiled as he leaned against the broom. "You missed a spot on the wall." He said.

"What? Where?" Jack reached up higher.

"And you didn't dust that frame, Miss Tyler." Soto called.

"Bloody cleaning!" Rose exclaimed, throwing her feather duster on the floor. "It's been two hours! And fifteen minutes! Why hasn't he called?"

"He might be busy."

* * *

"Right, Look, I can't risk them taking the TARDIS anywhere. You can't blink, you said. I need you to watch them. I'll call Rose and tell her what happened." He attached the last wire. "This should warn me when I get near living stone."

I WILL WATCH YOUR SPACE SHIP. WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT THEY DON'T GET IT?

"They'll have the control of all of time and space. The sun will go out." The Doctor pointed the square device over at the angels, and it beeped loudly. "Yup. It's working. Stay with the TARDIS. If I lose that I can't save Rose…or Jack, if something happens."

YOU ARE CERTAIN YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT?

"Do I look like I won't be?" The Doctor scanned the device with the sonic one more time before he put the screwdriver away. "Sorry to leave you like this, but you won't be in any trouble."

DO NOT WORRY.

The Doctor grinned brightly, "I'll come back in about an hour. Clear out this section, move on to the next. I'll check in each time before I move on." He looked back at his TARDIS one more time, and sighed.

* * *

Rose sighed and wandered over to the window, the phone in her hand, "I'm going to come meet you. Doctor, I won't let you be alone. Jack can stay with them! You come here and meet me, if you're so worried." She paused and sighed louder, "No, I do not want you in danger. Doctor, don't make me out to be insane. This would have been much easier if we'd split off into groups of three. It _could_ have been an option. Fine!" She shouted, "I'll stay here and you go off and almost die! How do you think I would feel if I lost you? You think on that!" Rose slammed her phone shut and glared out the window.

Jack tapped her shoulder, "I realize you are having trouble with your boyfriend, but doing work might help."

"We're in trouble, Jack."

"I know he is." He said comfortingly, rubbing her back.

"No, _we're_ in trouble. Jack, look down. The angels," She hesistated, then continued, "The angels came back. An army of angels. At every window. How did they get here?" Rose stared down in horror.

"Why did they come back here?"

* * *

_CLIFF HANGER! I'm sorry if you're not a big fan of them! If it helps, I'd like it if you drop a review(TEA AND CAKE) or vote in the poll on my new user friendly profile page!_

_Or both. _

_Both would be nice._


	15. Chapter 14

_I'm sorry this chapter took so long! I've been struggling with understanding some of my classes, with fanfiction, and my best friend, part time beta (not for this story. Usually Good Omens and my shorter fics) wasn't able to help me figure out the ending until just now, but now that it's set I'll be able to write more. The chapters should also be getting a bit longer. __**I will probably add another character to the end of this story. Please go to my page and vote on if you think this is a good idea! I've only had two people vote so far, and I've had it up for weeks. I want your opinion on this, please!**_

_Also, I want to thank 1.) The reviewers I've gotten to the last chapter, Suuki-Aldrea, Irken Invader, Ayjah and Nimbus Llewelyn! 2.) Everyone who has stuck with this even though I've been suffering from serious bouts of Bad Writer, and 3.) Anyone new to this!_

_Disclaimer: Due to a significant problem of not having been born either Terry Pratchett, Russell T. Davies or Steven Moffet, I own exactly…nothing. _

_

* * *

_

"Rose?" Jack said for the fifteenth time, as he took her shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Lu-Tze, please inform Mr. Harkness that I am not talking to him." Rose pursed her lips as she turned away from him with an angry glare.

Lu-Tze sighed for the fifteenth time, "Rose, he can hear you."

"He called the Doctor! I told him not to, because it is a stupid, idiotic idea. The Doctor can't rush in and save us with his TARDIS. All he can do is rush in with a screwdriver and a torch and what ever else he can fit into those pockets of his. Those are deadly angels-" She turned to face him and started shouting louder, but he cut her off with a quiet murmur.

"Angels of Death?"

Rose glared at him, "They're out there, Jack. How is going to get past them? Tell me that. You told him, now he's going to end up killing himself so that he can try to save us. If he dies, it is all your fault." She turned away from him as her voice broke.

"I'm sorry Rose, but he would have wanted to know."

"There are dozens of them! I don't care if he would have wanted to know. It was on a need to know basis, and I'm sorry, but he doesn't need to know. I would have thought of something. Don't shake your head at me!" She cried angrily, "I would have! I know I would have."

"Rose," Jack said softly.

"Give me back the phone. I swear to god, Jack, I don't know what I'll do if you don't give me back that phone."

"No. He's coming, Rose. He'll only come quicker if you tell him not too." Jack took a step closer, then hugged her, "I'm sorry, but he would have kicked me out of the TARDIS and then yelled at you if we got out of this okay for not telling him. And I know which one would have hurt me more." He squeezed her tighter for a moment, before he let go, "So, what's your plan, until he gets here?"

"Don't know, not yet." She muttered, "I said would have."

"Taking out our mirrors would be a good start." Lu-Tze said. "And finding more would be the next step I would take. Soto, put down that bowl. Somewhere safe though, if you wouldn't mind."

The monk nodded in deference and placed the bowl on a stand. "Art. At it's finest."

"Some could say that about the Angels." Lu-Tze told him, "Some would."

"We're not." Rose held up her mirror. "You know, if we had more of these…we could freeze them one by one. Place the mirror in front of one of their eyes. That'd freeze them, right? "

"Is that your wonderful idea? Getting close to a fatally dangerous alien race?"

"It was just a suggestion." Rose snapped. They glared at each other.

"Sorry," Jack told her after a moment. "I'm a bit on edge."

"Yeah, me too." She smiled up at him with her own silent apology. "Okay, Lu-Tze. Where would there be more mirrors?"

* * *

"Sorry. Just…No, you're no angel, really, I'm sorry about that, I didn't realize…" The Doctor trailed off as he backed away from a troll. Again. "I'm as thick as Jack! Discworld! Living stone, all over the place. Lucky I haven't walked straight into a golem." He sighed, put the device into his pocket, and pulled out his phone as he continued walking towards the Art Museum.

He was glad Jack had called him, even if it was only an act of self preservation. Glad that Rose was safe.

Worried out of his mind, of course, but glad.

Surrounded by Weeping Angels and she hadn't called him. She promised she would. She should have. Stupid apes. Jack was right, he had to know. Needed to know. Wanted to know.

And yet, he couldn't bring himself to be mad at her. Which was mildly infuriating in itself. Rose Tyler, after all they'd been through, didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth. Didn't trust him to save them. To save her. If there was one thing he would always do, it would be save Rose Tyler. Forever. Rose Tyler, damsel in practically perpetual distress, could count on him.

After all…he was armed with overconfidence and a small screwdriver.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best idea he'd ever had. But Rose (and Jack, of course, can't forget Jack) was(were) in trouble. Surrounded by the most deadly of life forms, as bad, worse than the Daleks (who she had also faced, so maybe she would be okay without him) (not that she would be without him) and he had to save her. Had to come get her. It'd be nice if he had the TARDIS, to send her back home (she'd fight, and, well, he should probably make preparations for that, shouldn't he? If they met with something worse than the Weeping Angels, he should program the TARDIS to send her home. Better make a mental note about that.) Of course, it wasn't really safe to bring the TARDIS into a building surrounded by angels. He'd had Susan do it before…Susan! Useful girl to have around.

If only she was around…

* * *

Jack brought the last mirror into the circular room and Rose helped him fit it into place.

"There are more than one."

Lu-Tze heard her silent question. "As we freeze them, we'll place a hand mirror in front of it's eye, and then place it along the wall in the place of a mirror. If they're smart, they'll catch on, but not until too late. We should get a good deal of them." he adjusted a mirror, "You should contact the Doctor with that…phone you're using."

"Tell him not to come?" She asked hopefully.

"No," Lu-Tze smiled slightly, "Ask him to bring a pack of cards. Have you ever played Cripple Mr. Onion?"

Rose sighed slightly as she pulled out her phone, "Tell him the plan, tell him to get here, ask for a pack of cards. Got it."

_

* * *

I'd love it if you would review(just a cup of tea this time, unless you ask for something different) and please, please please go take the quiz. It's seriously important._

_Thank you for reading this!_


	16. Chapter 15

AN ACTUAL TUESDAY UPDATE!

_So sorry for the wait! It's been a busy month, and now that school is wrapping up and I'm having to deal with the usual senior stuff(prom, college prep, other) it might be a slow start. Thank you for reading this so far, and sticking around! You all are amazing._

_Again: AN: I am not a canon author, and therefore own nothing. _

* * *

The two men stood just behind the rope that separated the rest of the city from the art museum, staring at the building. One threw a burning cigar to the ground and used his foot to snuff it out. The other just continued to stare hopelessly around the area, his shoulders slumped.

"Rose is in there." The Doctor said; his voice betrayed more than his face. There was an edge of fear mixed with the hopelessness, and then there was the loneliness. It filled his voice, and his low voice filled the air around them. The emotions, usually well hidden, were practically tangible.

"I know." The older looking one said, "We tried to stop them from getting in, but we couldn't get the golems together in time to watch them all. Some got in." It sounded like an apology, almost. Samuel Vimes didn't often use excuses, and he didn't offer one now.

The Doctor turned to face the Commander, his face darker than Vimes had ever seen it. "Rose is in there. I'm going to go get her. I'm going to go past this rope, and I am going inside that building."

"What do you need a pack of cards for?" Vimes lit another cigar. The end burned brightly in the dulling twilight.

The Doctor ignored him, and called Rose's phone, and muttered a muted swear, "Voicemail." He ducked under the rope, "We'll be back out."

"If you're not?" Vimes called after him. He did not attempt to follow after him.

The Doctor turned back, his face dark, "Rose will be."

Vimes watched the Doctor as he marched toward the door of the art museum and waited for him to be out of sight.

"Nobby."

The small human* appeared at Vimes' elbow. "Yes commander?"

"What did you steal from him?"

"Me?" Nobby asked, attempting to sound entirely innocent and slightly insulted, "Would I do such a thing as steal from someone's open pocket as he stood next to you talking about a girl named Rose?"

"Yes. You're as bad as those Nac Mac Feegles, Nobby. You're only better because I can spot you at a distance. And you aren't blue." He added, as if it was an after thought. Vimes blew out another puff of smoke, "What did you find in the man's open pocket?"

"Just this thing sir." Nobby replied, evasively. "This thing. It was just this thing. It was just hanging out, about to fall."

Vimes held out his hand with a sigh, and Nobby obediently dropped the silver object with a blue end into his boss's hand. Vimes examined it closely for a moment, then said, "Nobby, go find Captain Carrot. I want to talk to him."

Nobby attempted to salute smartly, "Yes sir!"

"And Nobby?"

Nobby Nobbs paused and turned around, "Sir?"

"Don't steal from anyone I'm talking to ever again. And," Vimes sighed and threw the end of the cigar to the ground, "Carrot is that way."

Nobby managed to look mildly embarrassed as he walk by Vimes again.

* * *

"Why is he not here yet?" Rose asked, almost standing up again. Jack put gentle pressure on her shoulder, to keep her sitting down.

"We owe them twenty facts about Earth, Rose. And we can't give those without the Doctor here. Now, he's going to be upset enough knowing that that was what we decided to bet…but twenty…well, we're going to be in trouble enough. Let's not lose this hand." He sighed, "How do you play this game again?"

"You win." A voice from the door way called.

Rose squealed and threw her cards up in the air. She sprinted across the room to wrap her arms around her Doctor thrilled that he was alive, and that he was there, with her, safe and sound. He hugged her back and they stood there for a minute, grateful to hear the other one breathing and their hearts beating.

They whispered to each other almost simultaneously, "Thought I'd lost you." And then they quietly laughed at themselves and each other and the entire situation.

"Never ever. You and me," Rose whispered, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Me neither. I'll always protect you, Rose Tyler." The Doctor finally took a glance around the room, and widened his eyes, "What have you four been up to?" He asked finally. Instead of the mirrors surrounding the four, there were Weeping Angels in place of several of them. Their arms were extended into their attack position, their mouths open with their sharp, horrifying teeth visible. There was almost a wild look in their eyes; they were angry and shocked. The vision was frightening enough to make the Doctor take a step back. He barely registered the tiny mirrors taped over the left eye of each of the Angels, "Why are all of them here?"

"Do you like it? It was Lu-tze's idea. Well, except for the small mirrors in front of one of their eyes. That was mine." Rose grinned, "If they see themselves, they're…he used a phrase like 'quantum locked' or something. So seeing themselves in a mirror is the same thing. And I wanted the little mirrors for extra protection."

"Did I ever tell you that you were fantastic, Rose Tyler?" He grinned widely and hugged her tighter, then spun her around.

Once it was clear to the other three that the two sweethearts were oblivious to everyone else in the room, Lu-Tze gathered up Roses cards and examined them, "You had a Mister Onion. Out of curiosity, was anyone able to cripple it?" Soto shook his head slowly.

"You mean she would have won?" Jack asked with a sigh. "And she throws the cards up in the air."

Soto smiled slightly, "I think that we may give this one to her, Lu-Tze. Unexpected circumstances."

Lu-Tze took a drag on his cigarette, "Right. Secret number three; There Be Dragons."

"Where?" Jack asked, as the Doctor, with Rose still clinging to him, came to sit down.

"There Be Dragons everywhere." Soto replied, "Did you bring the cards? We need them. This pack had two missing. That artist had a weird idea of art, let me tell you."

The Doctor reached into his pocket, before jumping up again, "No!"

Rose, who had managed to continue to cling to him, finally let go and stepped back, "What wrong?"

"My sonic!"

"You don't have it Doc?" Jack laughed, "You _would_ get pick pocketed."

"Not right now Jack!" The Doctor shot back. Rose glanced away from them and gasped. In the door way stood an army of Weeping Angels.

* * *

"So, Carrot. What do you think this does?" Vimes dropped the weird silver thing into the captain's hands.

Carrot fiddled with it for a moment before he pressed a button and the end began to glow a light blue color. Vimes leaned in slightly to listen to the strange buzzing noise, when all, of a sudden, a window shattered, a door unlocked, and a dragon exploded.

Once the mess was cleaned up, Vimes turned to Carrot, "We won't mention that to Sybil."

"No sir." Carrot carefully placed the device into his pocket. Very carefully.

Vimes lit another cigar, "Why in the world would he carry around a device to kill dragons?"

"That could just be a side effect." Carrot offered up in a hopeful tone.

"Hell of a side effect." Replied Vimes with another puff of smoke. There was another pause before Vimes added, "He'll want it back."

"Yes."

"Let's go get it to him." Vimes sighed, "Not that I want to go in there again."

A voice behind them sighed, and they turned around to face it, "Hello Susan," Carrot said, "How are you?"

* * *

*He does have a certificate signed by the Patrician. He can show you if you'd like-he has to carry it around these days.

* * *

_And Susan is back! Unfortunately, Nobby is not the new character I am threatening to introduce. So go vote on my page if you want to see someone else new! Or if you don't! Thank you for reading thus far, and 1108 thanks to whoever reviews!_


	17. Chapter 16

_WARNING: LONG(ish) A.N.!_

_If you all don't hate me yet for my extremely long absences, I officially grant everyone patience awards. I'm sorry for the long(long) wait, and I know this chapter won't make it up to you. I swear I'm trying my best, but June was probably the busiest month I've had ever. Even busier than May, where I was busy every weekend with stuff(Like birthdays, prom, plays, concerts (blame my boyfriend! I don't usually go to that stuff, cause I want to write, but __**someone**__ had do the puppy dog eyes…) But I'm trying to get back in the swing of writing for this!)_

_I also own nothing._

* * *

"Hello." Susan replied, almost pleasantly. "Do you know what my grandfather is doing?" The man (or being) beside her, sighed. Vimes wasn't really sure if he was a man. Susan was the granddaughter of Death; he couldn't honestly suppose that she'd grown up with 'normal' friends. Something suddenly clicked in his mind-

"Aren't you a thief?" The man looked over at Vimes, surprised. "Or weren't you a thief? I'm sure you were. One of Ludd's boys. Newgate, wasn't it?"

"I'm Lobsang now. But yes, I was. I'm now-"

"A time monk." Vimes said flatly. He wasn't sure if his dealings with the time monks were good or bad, but he had a feeling that some point in time, he would want to arrest them.

"A sweeper." Lobsang corrected him, somewhere between slowly and quickly, recklessly and cautiously.

Vimes lit a cigar. Susan rolled her eyes as she heard, "Hard to tell the difference from here."

"It's an important one." Lobsang began, and Susan sighed, mouthing along with him. "A time monk has a different robe."

Vimes stared woodenly at Time, before turning to Susan. "The Doctor said he left him guarding the TARDIS from the angels."

"So that's why he's there. I thought it was a bit odd when he didn't even pretend to blink. Usually he does. He likes to act like he's human." She sighed, "You'd think he'd tell me something like that. We went to him to ask about what had been found out about the Angels-"

"The Angels no longer exist." Lobsang said insistently, as if he had been insisting this for the past two hours, that those life forms who didn't even really belong in this dimension no longer existed in any dimension, and that they were disappearing, slowly, one by one, as well as something about Quantum Physics, and a forest.

Vimes sighed, no longer hoping to understand. Carrot, however, pointed forward, "Right there, at that window. What do you see?"

"Nothing. There is no Weeping Angel there. There is the fading memory of one."

"You're being cryptic again," Susan complained, "I hate cryptic. You and grandfather are absolutely the worst. You live on cryptic!"

"I'm sorry," Lobsang said, with the amount of patience that only Death and Time can have, "that I am not explaining myself. It's hard to explain. They did exist. Only now they don't. And they never have. And there's something about Angels being quantum locked-"

"But they do exist." Vimes stated.

"Temporally? No. Physical…maybe. Mostly. Yes." Lobsang sighed, "It's so…"

"Timey-wimey?" Rose asked as the five of them walked up to them.

"Took the back door out." The Doctor said, _almost_ by way of explanation. "Who are you? Seem familiar."

"I would seem familiar to you, Time Lord." Lobsang wrinkled his nose in distaste, "And you're not, by the way."

"He's Time," Lu-tze answered, lighting a cigarette off the end of Vimes' cigar, much to the chagrin of Vimes, "Doesn't mind people worshiping him, though."

"So he'd be like Death then?" Rose asked, "With the whole…anthro-promo-" She looked over to the Doctor for help.

"Anthropomorphic personification? Basically."

"Except he's partially human." Susan said, and Rose couldn't be sure if she wasn't clearing up a point or staking a claim.

"Right. We've quantum locked all of the ones who've gotten in, and you have a bundle frozen here. How's Death?"

"He's doing well. He's guarding your big blue box." Lobsang replied, snarkily. Rose raised her eyebrows and Susan sighed at the intended insult.

"TARDIS." The Doctor replied, insulted.

Jack slid up to Lobsang, and smiled wildly, implying many, many things. "Hello there. I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

Time looked him up and down, then sighed. He turned to Lu-tze, "How do you meet these people?"

"Got a headache, lad?"

"Yes, if you must know."

"It'll do you good. You're being difficult up at the monastery."

"_I'm_ being difficult! Those monks can't run Mandala Hall properly!"

"Do you want them too?"

"Yes! They live in the perfect moment. It's not that hard!" He sighed, "I know. They're only human."

Rose and Jack glanced over at each other with a frown. They'd heard that far too often from the lips of the Doctor to like it. Jack had the presence of mine to grab her hand and hold her back.

The Doctor, however, got the brilliant idea in his mind to be offended, "You're partially human! How can you say that? Humans are amazing, creative creatures-"

"Shut it, Time Lord." Jack muttered, "We're used to it."

"How can you be used to it?" He asked, taken aback. "You're human! Who would insult you like that?"

Rose and Jack just looked at each other and sighed. "Doctor?" Rose said, "Don't worry about it."

"Why do none of them like me?" Jack asked, suddenly concerned. "None of you not exactly humans like me. I'm _hurt_." He put an arm around both Lobsang and Susan, "Really hurt. In my heart. Those things you have right here. And you know what? You can make it up to me."

"Jack!" Rose laughed, "I don't think it's fair to proposition them right now!"

"Alls fair in love and war…and I like making-"

"Jack." The Doctor frowned, "until you are all safe, I would appreciate if you didn't attempt to…be you!"

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" Jack grinned, "I love being me."

Vimes sighed, "Remove your hands from her and him, Captain Jack. He says that the angels don't exist."

"Oh, the crazy ones are either fun, or mildly murderous." He winked.

"Jack!" Rose reprimanded him. "Not now! We need to think about what we're going to do about the angels!"

"What angels?" Carrot asked, confusion tinting his question.

* * *

_If you think you can guess the ending please DON'T say what you think it is in the review! Drop a review scolding me(I won't mind) or discussing this chapter! Many thanks!_


	18. Chapter 17

_I'm sorry for the never updating of this…I guess I didn't expect college to be as all-encompassing as it is! Here is the final(!) chapter  
AN: I own nothing, which is probably a good job because I'm so bad at time…_

* * *

"So, are we done with the introductions?" The Doctor asked. Once everyone assented, he continued "Because we have the pressing matter of explaining why the angels are gone. Which will be difficult, considering that I don't know. And Time seems a bit odd about it himself."

"Lobsang," Susan muttered quietly.

"Jiggery pokery?" Rose suggested with a smile.

"Rose," the Doctor reprimanded with a laugh, "Only intelligent people accept that as an answer."

"Doc, why don't we just tell them that we were running a drill, in case the art museum gets robbed?" Jack leaned against a building, a smirk on his face informing everyone of how terribly right he was. Even worse, it told the Doctor that Jack knew that he was right.

Just as the Doctor was about to argue, Carrot's confusion eased, "Oh, is that it? I was wondering."

Vimes rolled a cigar, "Yes, forgot to tell you. Clear everyone up and I'll talk to them later."

"I'll tell them what a good job they did," Carrot said encouragingly. Vimes nodded absently as he stared at the museum of art.

Carrot waited for Vimes vocal approval, but none was forthcoming. Jack patted him on the shoulder, "I'll help you. Fill in the blanks, you know?"

The Doctor continued to stare in wonder as Jack walked away, so Rose elbowed him, "What's wrong with you?"

"When did Jack get so clever?"

"I heard that!" Jack called back with a quick wink.

"Must have rubbed off from you," Rose laughed.

"I still don't understand," Soto said, "What happened to the angels?"

Lobsang sighed, "Let me try this again. Doctor, there is a future you that will, at some very future point, use time energy to remove this set of angels from the world, erasing them and everything that they ever did."

"So how come we still remember them?" Rose asked, "And how come they were even here if they were removed?"

Lobsang launched into a very complicated explanation that Rose could barely understand. The Doctor, Lu-tzu and Susan nodded understanding, apparently, every single word. Rose felt she was lucky to have a solid relationship with the word 'and' by the end of his speech.

The Doctor saw Rose's confusion, and when Lobsang stopped talking, he said, "There's a bit of hullabullo in our mind that stops this jiggery pokery from messing with it."

"Somehow," Vimes announced, "That made more sense."

They looked at him in surprise, and he continued, "We've got to see Vetinari. I'm not sure if he'll remember, but I don't want to be alone if we have to lie to him. We'll pick up Jack on the way."

* * *

"Weeping Angels?" Vetinari seemed amused, "Walking stone statues? And you didn't call the wizards?"

"I wouldn't call the wizards for magic. As you can see, I have a very good team that worked with me."

"Yes," Vetinari agreed, "A reformed thief, a monk, a sweeper, the anthropomorphic appearance of Death, the granddaughter of Death, a very flattering young man, a clever girl and a man who is followed by trouble."

Vimes nodded at the spot just above and to the right of Vetinari's head.

Behind him, Rose, Jack and the Doctor were arguing, "Well, obviously Rose is the clever girl, and I'm certainly not a reformed thief, monk or sweeper. And I'm not followed by trouble!"

"You're not flattering either!" Rose sighed, "Doctor, you're always followed by trouble."

"You make it sound like it's my fault! Trouble follow me—!"

"Or you follow it?" Jack proposed. "When was the last time we landed on a planet where we were safe?"

"Last time." The Doctor waved the question off.

"Rose was kidnapped by mutant warriors looking for a sacrificial queen!"

"Time before that?"

"You were almost set on fire." Rose patted his hand.

"What about that one time we went out for fish and chips?"

"I almost died of poisoning, Rose almost fell into a carnivorous plant, and then you were sold to a war lord."

"He wasn't a war lord—" The Doctor started, but Jack cut him off.

"Yes, he was."

"What about when we went to that carnival?"

"I was almost forced to age backwards on a creepy carousel ride!"

"And I was almost killed by that murderous ring leader." Rose shrugged, "Jack has a point."

"No, he doesn't. Could be following him around!"

"The first place you took me was the end of the earth and we were almost killed by a mutant stretch of skin!" She laughed.

"Following you?"

"When I first met you, you were dealing with the plastic Autons." Rose smiled, "Sorry Doctor. Jack is right."

"No, he's not, but it's no use arguing with you stupid apes," the Doctor frowned and turned back to the three way conversation between Vimes, Vetinari, and a spot on the wall.

Jack leaned down to Rose's ear, "Use your feminine wiles on him."

She smiled, "Later, I promise."

"It appears all is in order, " Vetinari said, "So long as everyone agrees that the Art Museum will be safe from thieves, real or stone."

Susan nodded curtly, "Human, at least."

"Well, my dear, I hardly doubt the God of Chaos or of Lighting has the time to come down to this planet just to steal something."

I DO NOT AGREE. THOSE TWO ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING. IF THE GOD OF CHAOS THOUGH IT WOULD BOTHER THE GOD OF LIGHTING, HE MAY JUST.

"Point taken. I will consider it in whole. Should a metal clad god appear, I will ask you to be the first to tell me."

PEOPLE DO NOT USUALLY MAKE APPOINTMENTS WITH ME.

"I am a very busy man. Appointments seem to be the best way to deal with these things," Vetinari answered. Without turning, he asked Lu-tze, "Why are you sweeping my floor?"

"Dirt all over the place. Why, there was a metal death trap someone could have walked on to and ended up shredded into millions of bits."

"Ah. How terrible. It's supposed to shred people into trillions of bits. I ought to get it oiled." Vetinari returned to Vimes, "Perhaps, commander, you could take all of these upstanding…people out for dinner?"

"I'll invite them home sir." Vimes replied, "Sybil will be glad for the company."

"Then good day commander. Good day to you all."

"I've never been dismissed before," Jack commented once they were outside. "It's kinda sexy."

"How many of you will be joining my family and I for dinner?" Vimes asked, removing his fist from the wall.

"Actually," Lobsang glanced nervously at Death and at Susan, "I was hoping Susan and I could get some dinner by ourselves. Alone. By ourselves alone."

I AM ALSO BUSY. WAR HAS INVITED ME TO HIS HOUSE TONIGHT. HE AND HIS WIFE ARE RENEWING THEIR VOWS. PERHAPS TIME AND SUSAN WILL COME TO WISH THEM WELL BEFORE THEY HAVE THEIR DINNER?

"Alright," Lobsang agreed before he caught Susan's glare.

"If that's all settled then," Susan snapped, "We'll be going. Have a good day."

And then they were just gone. Vimes, unlike Jack and Rose, was unsurprised, "And you five?"

"Lu-tze and I have to go up to Mandella hall to deal with the mess this angel situation created." Soto said apologetically, "Since Time isn't doing it himself."

"Fair enough," Vimes replied, "I suppose I'll see you around."

And then the time monks were gone in the blink of an eye as well.

"Looks like it's just us, then!" The Doctor grinned, "Can't have everyone splitting time right now, can we?"

Vimes shrugged, "Let me send a message to Sybil then. Imp," he called, pulling something out of his pocket, "Go to the nearest clacks and send a note to my wife that we'll be having three people for dinner."

"Yes sir Commander Vimes!" The imp squeaked, "May I now inform you that I need an updated map to reach the nearest clacks efficiently?"

"Go run around the town," Vimes growled, "And if you don't get stepped on, there's your update."

As it ran away, Rose released a squeal, "That was adorable! Wasn't it adorable?"

"You're not getting one," The Doctor answered, "No pets allowed in the TARDIS."

"You're one to talk! My clothes are always covered in cat hair!"

"I don't have a cat on board!"

Jack coughed, "I do."

"No pets on the TARDIS!" The Doctor snapped.

Vimes sighed, "Dinner is usually served at six thirty. You can show up at five thirty or so, if you want."

* * *

The Doctor sat down on Rose's bed next to her, "Dinner went well."

"The table was burnt by an exploding dragon."

"I meant in general."

"The table was burnt by an exploding dragon, Jack was almost killed by that mental butler, Vimes had to knock you out, Young Sam woke up, and my dress is ruined."

"Sorry." He said, "I'll buy you a new one?"

"You better!" She laughed, then smoothed what was left of the dress, "Did you have fun though?"

"Once the minor alien possession was over, I suppose."

"I still have no clue how you picked up a leech that takes over your brain."

"I did wander on the river while you and Jack were picking outfits."

"On?"

"The river doesn't exactly flow so much as…not." He shrugged, "Well, it's better now. Got my sonic back too."

"So," Rose started, "Where do you want to go now?"

The Doctor smiled slowly, "Figured we could start out with the domestic. How does a date sound?"

"Fish and chips?"

"Whatever you want, Rose Tyler."

* * *

_Thank you all so much for putting up with me! I want to thank in specific_  
_SerenDPetty, Jennie, Timemidae, handschuhmaus, Guest, Ayjah, Nimbus Llewelyn, spacegirl94, Suuki-Aldrea, arwenae, Irken Invader, ZomboDeZany, Raynbowz, and Vorel laraek for their wonderful and helpful reviews._

_I want to thank in general all of the story alerters and favoriters, and of course every single last person who has read this fic._

_You are all absolutely amazing and wonderful people. Thank you for putting up with me._


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